Losing The Plot With Office Furniture


The boss was losing his mind big style. His temperament was becoming erratic, his bad moods famous and his physical appearance was fast going downhill.

There was office gossip regarding his personal life. Apparently, his wife was having some kind of mid-life crisis and had taken off with a much younger toy boy. The other girls in the office thought it was more likely that she had seen the light and had enough of him.

A respected colleague took him to one side, pointing out some of these downfalls and the things people were saying and he did his best to pull it together. His first show of ‘I’m on top, I have everything under control, I’m doing just fine’ was his decision to re-fit the office.

Office furniture was turning up in delivery vans on a daily basis, still sitting unpacked in reception for some time. Flat pack desks piled against the wall and filing cabinets stuck in the corridors were a pain for the other staff until they took it into their own hands and organised the office furniture re-fit themselves, still with surplus.

Looking particularly dishevelled one morning, the boss arrived in a bad mood. Trying to brighten his day, he thought he would test out the new office furniture by sitting on the edge of his secretary’s desk and making unseemly advances.

Not wanting to leave her job, and trying to be more understanding than a lot of women would have been, she made a show of spilling her coffee on the desk and he took the hint, swiftly removing himself. Personally, I think he was lucky not to get a swift kick in the shins but he appeared to be going through some crisis that didn’t need worsening.

Maybe she thought twice the next morning when she arrived to find the corner of her desk had been sawn off by the boss in protest. Just as well there was an abundance of office furniture to replace it.

Later that day, the boss stormed through the secretary’s office to find Jeremy from accounts perched on the edge of her desk, discussing this month’s budget. Needless to say, by the next morning, she had no corner to her desk again and this was the way it stayed.

For some bizarre reason, the boss decided the office furniture was to be controlled and he vented his unknown problems on this, often found whiling away the afternoon with a set of alan keys and a socket set dismantling chairs, filing cabinets and desks galore. He would then begin rebuilding with all the wrong parts and even spare bits that occasionally got thrown out of the office door.

After another narrow escape involving a spare piece of office furniture whistling past the secretary’s head, she’d really had enough and began to pack her belongings with the intention of quitting her job as soon as it was safe to do so.

When her boss left for a lunch break, she put her letter of resignation on his desk and slipped quietly away. This did not make him happy! In fact, it was the last straw that finally tipped him over the edge.

Emerging from his office, he pushed over the spare filing cabinet, setting off a domino effect with the spare office furniture that was stacked along the corridor.

When Jeremy from accounts saw the steam coming from his ears he approached cautiously in an attempt to calm him down. For his efforts he received a punch in the jaw before the boss jumped on a swivel shair and catapulted himself out of the nearest window.